Child-Related Decisions in Oregon Divorce Mediation

by Matthew M. House, J.D.
Divorce Mediator since 2005; Family Law Financial Analyst since 2022

Last Updated: June 10, 2026

Divorcing parents of minor children in Oregon have a crucial choice:

Meet only the requirements of the state's divorce forms (agreeing on the legal custody of the children, drafting a parenting time schedule, and calculating child support);
Go slightly beyond the minimum requirements of ORS 107.102 by also including more details in the space provided after some of the questions on the forms; or
Draft a thorough parenting plan that addresses what it really means to co-parent, anticipating and agreeing on provisions across a broad spectrum of topics so that you have a roadmap for the years ahead that is legally binding but is lso structured to evolve as your kids get older and their needs change.

To keep divorcing parents focused on the best interests of their children, not their frustration with each other, I created a comprehensive framework that provides a more thorough parenting plan without increasing the time and cost of mediation. The Parenting and Custody Toolkit (PACT) is my 78-point protocol for making child-related decisions in divorce mediation.

The Parenting and Custody Toolkit (PACT)

The PACT is the product of 21 years as a divorce mediator, having worked with more than 1,000 families and drafted more than 500 parenting plans. It is a component of the divorce paperwork that becomes binding once it is signed by the judge, and it also functions post-divorce as a "manual" for co-parenting.

It addresses the state-required decisions and dozens more points that are worth taking the time to agree on in mediation before problems develop later, including:

Legal Custody

Legal custody concerns how parents will make major decisions for their children after divorce. Legal custody is not the same as parenting time, which is discussed below in its own section.

Legal custody encompasses only the authority to make major decisions concerning the children. Those decisions often include education, nonemergency health care, residence, religion, and other significant parts of a child’s upbringing.

In Oregon, a judge does not have the power to award joint custody unless both parents agree. That means that if the parents do not agree to share legal custody of the children, the judge will choose one parent or the other to be awarded sole custody.

Since early 2025, my policy has not to take cases where the legal custody is in dispute. Parents who agree to share the legal decision-making authority are almost always successful in mediation. If one party is pushing for sole decision-making power and the other party does not agree, my experience is that the issue is unlikely to be resolved in mediation.

However, I do accept cases in which the parties come into mediation with a truly voluntary pre-existing agreement for one parent to have sole custody, but such cases are uncommon.

Legal custody is different from parenting time. Your parenting time schedule may be structured however you agree. The clear majority of my clients agree that an equal division of parenting time is in their children's best interests.

You may also peruse the 20 Frequently Asked Questions About Legal Custody in Oregon.

Parenting Time and Exchanges

The parenting time schedule and the logistics of parenting time exchanges are the most basic elements of a parenting plan.

Successful Co-Parenting

Coparenting requires more than simply knowing what days of the week the children are with each parent and where they spend Thanksgiving depending on whether it's an odd-numbered or even-numbered year.

Child Support and Other Financial Commitments

Child support for minor children is part of the larger question of how the children’s needs will be met across two households post-divorce.

The calculated cash child support amount according to the Oregon Child Support Guidelines usually is not adequate to cover the breadth of expenses that most of my clients consider reasonable. Parents may -- and usually do -- agree on additional categories of expenses to share on behalf of their children.

Statute, Purpose, Types, Applicable DDDD and PACT provisions, How I Help

Pre-Teens, Teenagers and Young Adults

Teenagers and young adult children often require a different kind of planning.

Under Oregon law, a qualifying child attending school is generally an unmarried child age 18 or older and under 21 who is making satisfactory academic progress and otherwise meets the statutory requirements. Oregon’s Department of Justice likewise explains that support for students ages 18 to 21 may continue if there is a current Oregon support order and the child qualifies.

I am the only divorce mediator in the Portland metro area to provide no-cost, confidential sessions for teens and pre-teens in my divorce mediation processes so that they can express their opinions, ask questions, and feel truly heard.

Statute, Purpose, Applicable DDDD and PACT provisions, How I Help

Conclusion

Child-related agreements work best when they are approached as one connected family structure without collapsing every issue into one vague conversation. Legal custody, parenting time, minor-child support, older-child planning, and support for a child attending school each raise different questions. A durable agreement usually depends on recognizing those differences early enough to build a plan that works in actual life, not just in principle.

If you would like to discuss these topics as they relate to your personal circumstances, please consider scheduling a consultation with me.

Learn More

This page is only an overview of the child-related components of my thorough mediation process for an Oregon divorce. The dedicated pages below go further into each area while keeping the larger family picture in view:

To understand the other components of my comprehensive mediation process, please consider these overviews, which also include links to a closer look at each one:

Matthew House J.D. | Divorce Mediation
3800 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., Suite 271
Beaverton, OR 97005
(503) 643-5284
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Matthew House's practice is neutral, limited to divorce mediation and financial analysis. He holds a law degree but is not a member of the Oregon State Bar. No information provided on 503.legal constitutes legal advice. The use of this website does not form a mediator-client relationship.

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